Joining the Conversation Step #3 Final Draft

Joining the Conversation Step #3 Final Draft

Joining the Conversation Step #3

Dominica Beverley

Megan Keaton

ENGL 1103

15 April 2013                                                                                                 Academic Essay

            As we go about our daily lives, we hear music all around us. Especially in the urban youth, music is a big part of their lives. It can motivate them, give them an emotional release, or even distract them from completing some tasks. Here is one thing I do wonder about, how does it affect them in school? Research shows that music has a significant effect on students in which the psychological processes in their brain can manipulate mood and when moods change, the actions of the person changes. Different types and styles of music contribute to this as well.

Music on My Mind

            As students, we have something that helps us focus and concentrate on completing tasks, for some students music is their motivator. Veda Brown says that, “Adolescents’ attitudes about school, material success, appreciation of themselves and others seem to be shaped to a large extent by the music they listen to” (49). She suggests that the types of music that kids listen to adjust their attitudes or plays a role in the way they behave. It is almost as if the music influences the decisions that students make in school. Similarily, Sharon Lee claims that even if we don’t voluntarily choose the music, the surrounding music has some effect on our mood and behavior as well. She also states, “Also are important are the effects of the music we do not choose, but are subjected through our environment choices such as restaurants and stores” (1). This is just like when you enter a shopping center or an elevator and you hear music playing over the loudspeaker or intercom system. The music they play is supposed to put you in a state that is comfortable to shop in. On the elevator, the ride up and down can get awkward especially if you are on the elevator with people you don’t know. The music can manipulate your mood so that the ride is easygoing. Brown says it may be the music that students choose that affects their behavior and Lee says that music affects students no matter where it comes from. Lee asks the question, “Can it [music] help students study more effectively, or does it distract from the completion of homework?” (2). She didn’t answer the question but I am trying to find that out as well. As far as I know, the answer could go either way depending on what type of student it is.

Different Types of Students

Different types of students are dispersed throughout the learning community. Every student learns differently and the aids that they use are different as well. Some students need complete silence to work or to focus while others need a snazzy beat in the background to keep them motivated while completing assignments. In the urban youth, students aren’t performing as well as the majority students (white students) and so they may need some extra help or an extra push to get them going. The Regional Education Laboratory, who has studied stereotypes about African American students, claims that, “In a society where economic opportunity depends heavily on scholastic success, even a partial narrowing of the achievement gap would lead to a positive change in the lives of academically at-risk children” (1). Since African American students or black students already have a hard time in school with stereotypes labeling them as failures, these students need some support to help them overcome this issue. Some of them do it by incorporating music in their study habits. Sharon Lee tells the reader about an article from 1991 written by Martha Giles and Giles said “Intervention programs for children at risk could use music to help them relax, build their self-esteem, and help them with their emotional problems” (3). Music not only can help students focus but it can act as an emotional release when the weight of school is overbearing. I know that when I get stressed out about something at school, the first thing I do is plug in my headphones and de-stress with some music. Most of the time I listen to songs that reflect my mood or songs that have a soothing beat.

Music in the Schools

            If music helps students perform better outside of school, why not bring music inside the schools and integrate it into the curriculum? Margaret Hagood, along with other authors, discusses the thought of including music in the teaching instruction. They suggest that it would give the teachers an edge if they include pop culture in their instruction and it would have the students more interested since the music already appeals to them. She states, “They [21^st century texts] also include pop culture texts, which are mass-generated print and non-print texts (e.g., comics, anime, TV shows, movies, videos, young adult books, music lyrics) that use multiple modes (e.g., linguistic, visual, aural, performative) to entice audiences to use them” (2). By incorporating music and other forms of pop culture into the instruction, both teachers and students will be satisfied. Teachers will gain student attention and comprehension and the students will be engaged because they have something that is interesting to them to make learning a little bit easier because the music appeals to the different learning types. Marc Hill agrees with this notion of including pop culture and music into the classroom. He says, “Given the salience of hip-hop culture in the lives of many American youth, the educational community has begun to pay considerable attention to the pedagogical possibilities of hip-hop culture within formal schooling contexts” (2). He explains of scholars who have made a course titled “Hip Hop Lit” which is a course in which you study different aspects of hip hop and listen to songs and analyze them. These scholars understand and have “shown how the elements of hip-hop and other forms of popular culture—rap music, turntablism, break dancing, graffiti culture, fashion, and language—can be used within classrooms to improve students’ motivation, teach critical media literacy, foster critical consciousness, and transmit disciplinary knowledge” (2). In my English Literature and Composition class, my teacher Ms. Woods used music in her instruction to familiarize us with analyzing text to find the author’s point of view. We were focusing on the theme of the American Dream and she used the song “Made It In America” by Jay-Z and Kanye West ft. Frank Ocean. This made the class interested in learning especially because we had to do an assignment on a popular song. However, not all teachers think that music or pop culture incorporated into the curriculum and teacher instruction is a good idea.

It’s a Distraction

As it was stated in the previous paragraphs, not everybody can think of music as an asset when it comes to school or schoolwork. With students who are struggling, especially black students, may be emotionally distraught and use music as a release. It can, in turn, cause them to act out of character. For example if a song’s lyric has violence and an angry tone, it may cause the student to act in such a way. Veda Brown states, “Children who lack pro-social skills associated with stable emotional intelligence tend to be easily influenced by various environmental factors such as peers and media. Some adults believe that this emotional weakness in children may leave them vulnerable to ideas of violence, sexual promiscuity, and other forms of anti-social behavior that are often portrayed in some popular hip-hop songs and videos” (51).Some students give into peer pressure and wind up being susceptible to the acts of violence and sexual promiscuity which is prevalent in urban communities today. The adolescents are the main targets of music, videos, and other forms of pop culture; they appeal to them the most. Society has placed negative views on Black children and students and that is why it is hard for them to focus in school. These students are worried about failing and living up to that stereotype. The Regional Education Laboratory claims, “stereotype threat arises from a fear among members of group of reinforcing negative stereotypes about the intellectual ability of the group” (1). From a teacher’s and a parent’s standpoint, they oppose music only if it is negatively impacting their child. Brown writes, “Well meaning adults have often complained that the popular music of today seems to have a detrimental effect on children’s thought and subsequent behavioral patterns. Particularly, many adults believe that the lyrics of some celebrated musical artists such as Fifty-Cent, Nelly, Foxy Brown, Marilyn Manson, Lil’ Kim, and Eminem have often undercut the very attributes, skills, and values of emotional intelligence that form the basis for pro-social behavior” (51). I know of a song by Soulja Boy called “Throw Some D’s”. I can understand why a responsible adult figure would be very cautious of what their child/student listens to. In his song, he says, “I always be in school, but I be walkin’ halls/A lot of teachers give me test but they be super hard/I get into some trouble, then my mama calls/But after I get out the office I’ma tell ’em all dat/I’ma superstar and that’s best/ Every time you see me up in class, my head on that desk” (MetroLyrics.com). If I was a parent, I wouldn’t want my child or my student listening to someone who is promoting bad gestures in school. Since children listen to this artist and idolize him, they might be tempted to act like him, which causes a problem for everybody. In the song, he also uses bad grammar, “I always be in school, but I be walkin’ halls” (MetroLyrics.com). Parents send their children to school to get an education and when they go home everything they have learned is being erased when they listen to music like this. Most students don’t even listen to the lyrics of a song; all they hear is the beat. Once the words get embedded in their minds, it’s like mind control. They don’t even know what they are saying, let alone know what the lyrics mean. Music can be a benefit and a fault, but it all depends who you listen to and what message they are sending to the listener.

Works Cited

Lee, Sharon. “The Effects Of Music On Student Psychology.” Online Submission (2011): ERIC Web. 24 Mar. 2013.

(ED) Regional Educational Laboratory Southeast, et al. "Reducing Stereotype Threat In Classrooms: A Review Of Social-Psychological Intervention Studies On Improving The Achievement Of Black Students. Issues & Answers. REL 2009-076." Regional Educational Laboratory Southeast (2009): ERIC. Web. 24 Mar. 2013.

Brown, Veda. "Guiding The Influence Of Hip-Hop Music On Middle-School Students' Feelings, Thinking, And Behaving." Negro Educational Review, The 57.1-2 (2006): 49-68. ERIC. Web. 25 Mar. 2013.

Hagood, Margaret C, Donna E. Alvermann, and Alison Heron-Hruby. Bring It to Class: Unpacking Pop Culture in Literacy Learning. New York: Teachers College Press, 2010. Print.

Hill, Marc L. Beats, Rhymes, and Classroom Life: Hip-hop Pedagogy and the Politics of Identity. New York: Teachers College Press, 2009. Print.

Self Assessment Reflection

My goals for this paper was to really understand what the author was trying to get the reader to understand. I think I did pretty good job tying in all of my sources to support each other as well as using sources to differ. I feel like I still have problems summarizing the sources when I should be analyzing the author's points. I really liked using the in-class workshops because I got feedback from my peers and my inquiry group and I got time to work on my paper. When I am not in class, I spend a lot of time in my room catching up on assignments so I end up doing some assignments late at night the night before. I spent a lot of time on this paper and I feel like it is one of the best papers I wrote based on the information I included and the way the paper was structured. As I progress in my writing, I see myself getting out of the traditional structure of writing (introduction, body, conclusion). I am doing better at getting my argument across tot he reader without beating around the bush. I am starting to be concise and straight to the point.The inquiry groups are really helpful to me because I get to see different views and opinions of my paper. The diversity of students in my inquiry group allows me to get grammar, general/overall, and academic feedback.The hardest part of writing this paper was trying to find out how all of the sources I used connected to one another to answer the question I proposed. All of my sources answered a part of the question and I ended up changing my question a little just to accommodate the sources I was using.

Workshop Reflection

What advice did you receive from each member of your group?  Explain each person’s advice separately and be specific.
My group didn't have enough to read over my academic essay during workshop time in class, so they commented on my blog. Brian said that structure of my paper was great but it seems like an annotated bibliography with the summary of the author's arguments. He suggested that I include  things that the author left out or something I think they should have included. Kayla liked the use of subheadings in my paper. She thinks that I should add some personal experiences. She agreed with Brian on the structure of my paper and she didn't see any grammatical errors and she understood all of my arguments. I have not received any feedback from Rachel yet so I don't have anything to say about her.

What was the most helpful piece of advice you received? Explain.
The most helpful pieces of advice came from Brian and Kayla. They both told me things that would enhance my paper and that would get my paper to the required length along with the necessary information. They told me to include include more of the author's point of view and somethings that they left out as well as some of my personal experiences with the subjects.

What was the least helpful piece of advice you received?  Explain.
I didn't not receive any feedback from Rachel so that could potentially help me in the revision of my paper but other than that the other information that I received was very helpful to me.

What are your plans for revision?  Be specific.  I should be able to understand exactly how your work will change in exactly which places.
When I revise my paper, I will include information from my personal experiences and go back to find places where I summarized and analyze them. I will also find out what the author's didn't answer in the sources and incorporate that in my paper.

Joining the Conversation Step #2

Dominica Beverley

8 April 2013

Megan Keaton

ENGL 1103                                                                                                     Academic Essay

            As we go about our daily lives, we hear music all around us. Especially in the urban youth, music is a big part of their lives. It can motivate them, give them an emotional release, or even distract them from completing tasks. Here is one thing I do wonder about, how does it affect them in school? Research shows that music has a significant effect on students in which the psychological processes in their brain can manipulate mood and when moods change, the actions of the person changes. Different types and styles of music contribute to this as well.

Music on My Mind

            As students, we have something that helps us focus and concentrate on completing tasks, for some students music is their motivator. Veda Brown says that, “Adolescents’ attitudes about school, material success, appreciation of themselves and others seem to be shaped to a large extent by the music they listen to” (49). She suggests that the types of music that kids listen to adjust their attitudes. It is almost as if the music influences their decisions in school. However, Sharon Lee claims that even if we don’t voluntarily choose the music, the surrounding music has some effect on our mood and behavior as well. She states, “Also are important are the effects of the music we do not choose, but are subjected through our environment choices such as restaurants and stores” (1). Brown says it may be the music that students choose that affects their behavior and Lee says that music affects students no matter where it comes from. Lee asks the question, “Can it [music] help students study more effectively, or does it distract from the completion of homework?” (2). The answer could go either way, depending on the type of student.

Different Types of Students

Different types of students are dispersed throughout the learning community. Every student learns differently and the aids that they use are different as well. Some students need complete silence to work or to focus while others need a snazzy beat in the background to keep them motivated while completing assignments. In the urban youth, students aren’t performing as well as the majority students (white students) and so they may need some extra help or an extra push to get them going. The Regional Education Laboratory, who has studied stereotypes about African American students, claims that, “In a society where economic opportunity depends heavily on scholastic success, even a partial narrowing of the achievement gap would lead to a positive change in the lives of academically at-risk children” (1). Since African American students or black students already have a hard time in school with stereotypes labeling them as failures, these students need some support to help them overcome this issue. They do it by incorporating music in their habits. Sharon Lee tells the reader about an article from 1991 written by Martha Giles and Giles said “Intervention programs for children at risk could use music to help them relax, build their self-esteem, and help them with their emotional problems” (3). Music not only can help students focus but it can act as a emotional release when the weight of school is overbearing. This is another good use of music as students in school.

Music in the Schools

            If music helps students perform better outside of school, why not bring music inside the schools and integrate it into the curriculum? Margaret Hagood, along with other authors, discusses the thought of including music in the teaching instruction. They suggest that it would give the teachers an edge if they include pop culture in their instruction and it would have the students more interested since the music already appeals to them. She states, “They [21^st century texts] also include pop culture texts, which are mass-generated print and non-print texts (e.g., comics, anime, TV shows, movies, videos, young adult books, music lyrics) that use multiple modes (e.g., linguistic, visual, aural, performative) to entice audiences to use them” (2). By incorporating music and other forms of pop culture into the instruction, teachers and students will be satisfied. Teachers will gain student attention and comprehension and the students will be engaged because they have something that is interesting to them to make learning a little bit easier. Marc Hill can agree with this notion of including pop culture and music into the classroom. He says, “Given the salience of hip-hop culture in the lives of many American youth, the educational community has begun to pay considerable attention to the pedagogical possibilities of hip-hop culture within formal schooling contexts” (2). He explains of scholars who have made a course titled “Hip Hop Lit” which is a course in which you study different aspects of hip hop and listen to songs and analyze them. These scholars understand and have “shown how the elements of hip-hop and other forms of popular culture—rap music, turntablism, break dancing, graffiti culture, fashion, and language—can be used within classrooms to improve students’ motivation, teach critical media literacy, foster critical consciousness, and transmit disciplinary knowledge” (2). Not all teachers think that music or pop culture incorporated into the curriculum or teacher instruction is a good idea.

It’s a Distraction

As it was stated in the previous paragraphs, not everybody can think of music as an asset when it comes to school or schoolwork. With students who are struggling, especially black students, may be emotionally distraught and use music as a release. It can, in turn, cause them to act out of character. For example if a song’s lyric has violence and an angry tone, it may cause the student to act in such a way. Veda Brown states, “Children who lack pro-social skills associated with stable emotional intelligence tend to be easily influenced by various environmental factors such as peers and media. Some adults believe that this emotional weakness in children may leave them vulnerable to ideas of violence, sexual promiscuity, and other forms of anti-social behavior that are often portrayed in some popular hip-hop songs and videos” (51). From society’s point of view, the music, videos, and other forms of pop culture are aimed at the adolescents. Society has placed negative views on Black children and students and that is why it is hard for them to focus in school. These students are worried about failing and living up to that stereotype. The Regional Education Laboratory claims, “stereotype threat arises from a fear among members of group of reinforcing negative stereotypes about the intellectual ability of the group” (1). From a teacher’s and a parent’s standpoint, they oppose music only if it is negatively impacting their child. Brown writes, “Well meaning adults have often complained that the popular music of today seems to have a detrimental effect on children’s thought and subsequent behavioral patterns. Particularly, many adults believe that the lyrics of some celebrated musical artists such as Fifty-Cent, Nelly, Foxy Brown, Marilyn Manson, Lil’ Kim, and Eminem have often undercut the very attributes, skills, and values of emotional intelligence that form the basis for pro-social behavior” (51). I know of a song by Soulja Boy called “Throw Some D’s”. I can understand why a responsible adult figure would be very cautious of what their child/student listens to. In his song, he says, “I always be in school, but I be walkin’ halls/A lot of teachers give me test but they be super hard/I get into some trouble, then my mama calls/But after I get out the office I’ma tell ’em all dat/
I’ma superstar and that’s best/ Every time you see me up in class, my head on that desk” (MetroLyrics.com). If I was a parent, I wouldn’t want my child or my student listening to someone who is promoting bad gestures in school. Since children listen to this artist and idolize him, they might be tempted to act like him, which causes a problem for everybody. Music can be a benefit and a fault, but it all depends who you listen to and what message they are sending to the listener.

"Annotated Bibliography 2nd Draft" Reflection

What was the most helpful piece of advice you received? Explain.
Megan told me to analyze the second paragraphs of most of the sources because I was summarizing them. By analyzing them, I can really get some insight on what the author tried to portray to the reader. This can also help me by telling me if the source was credible or not and how this information from the source will
answer all my questions.
What was the least helpful piece of advice you received? Explain.
I did not receive any piece of advice that wasn't helpful to my revision of my paper. All advice and criticism is helpful to me.

What questions do you have about Megan’s comments?
When you ask me to give more examples of how different music can cause different reactions, I thought that I would explain that in detail in my paper. I didn't think I had to go into too much about this in my bibliography.

What are your plans for revision?  Be specific.  I should be able to understand exactly how your work will change in exactly which places.
To revise my Annotated Bibliography, I plan on analyzing my sources in the second paragraph instead of summarizing them. I also plan on extending my commentary to give more examples to connect the reader to my source. I need to figure the placement of information as far as in my paper.

Workshop Reflection

What advice did you receive from each member of your group? Explain each person’s advice separately and be specific.
Rachel told me to correct some grammar in the dialogue so that the flow of the play would go smoothly. She also told me to change the subject of my question to students in general because it is hard to address African Americans. She also suggested that I try to find another source to show some type of contrast or another opinion that would oppose what these authors are claiming. Brian told me that the structure and the story line of my dialogue was good. Since the tone was mostly formal, I should be consistent and not include slang unless I change the whole tone of my dialogue. He also said to make the dialogue sound like something my characters would say. He said that I go from regular conversation into factual information that doesn't flow. They both suggested that I change tryna to tryin' and to put the source's information in my own words.

What was the most helpful piece of advice you received? Explain.
The most helpful advice was to be consistent in my dialogue as far as grammar and the way the characters speak to each other (informal or formal). The dialogue would flow more smoothly if I didn't jump to a different style of speech. I am going to be informal in the dialogue then, I should keep it that way throughout the play.

What was the least helpful piece of advice you received? Explain.
The least helpful piece of advice was changing tryna to tryin'. It is not important as the content of my dialogue so it may be overlooked when proofreading or revising. I mean I can change it but I don't see how it would affect the dialogue as a whole.

What are your plans for revision? Be specific. I should be able to understand exactly how your work will change in exactly which places.
I will revise the dialogue so that the style of speech is consistent throughout the play. I will summarize the technical information to put it in my own words as if I was really having a conversation with the other people. My sources really address students in general instead of African Americans so I think that changing my focus to students will allow me to get into depth more throughout my inquiry process.