Exploration Essay Workshop Reflection

     As I was getting feedback from the members of my group, they really helped me to better my essay or to look at it from a different perspective. Rachel critiqued me on my grammar. She advised me to put the titles of the articles I was using in quotations and evidence or quotes from the text in quotations as well. Kayla told me to include a Works Cited page to avoid plagiarism and in order to cite the readings that I included in my paper. Brian suggested that I make an argument, try to start a conversation between the authors' thoughts, and use quotes from the text in which the author says these things. 

     I think the most helpful piece of advice would be from Brian when he told me I should really elaborate and think critically about what the author is trying to say through these stories. It seems like I am still intertwining my opinion in the essay but I have to find more examples that deal with the author's voice instead of my own.

     I don't think that any of the feedback that I received in the workshop was "least" helpful. Anything that would improve my paper is welcome. I think that the least important or least pressing issue that was pointed out in my paper would be the grammar issues that Rachel pointed out but those can be easily fixed.

     I plan to change my paper in several ways. I need to stray away from writing the traditional way. I want to start writing without a set structure and when I am finished talking about my points, I need to practice just ending at that. Next, I will try to make an argument or do a better job at showing the different perspectives of the authors on the same issue. I also will need to correct my grammar in certain places and cite my sources in the correct way and include a Works Cited pages to let the reader know what texts I used to support my claim.

Exploratory Essay

In this modern world, college seems like a necessary part to becoming successful in life. However, making it to college seems more difficult than college itself. If you have the right tools and preparation, then you can make it in this society. The authors in the following texts: Social Class and the Hidden Curriculum of Work, In the Basement of the Ivory Tower, and Working Class Chicas all believe that if you decide to pursue post-secondary education that you should be well prepared for what is to come and if you are not prepared then it will be hard for you to succeed.

The curriculum for most high schools is to pass tests for graduation but some of them specialize in preparation for college, which is why some of them offer Advanced Placement courses. In these stories, the authors put emphasis on the college preparation and the lack thereof. In Working Class Chicas, Julie Bettie illustrates that the counselors have failed the minority females by assigning them the easy classes they need to pass to graduate but not enrolling them in classes that may challenge them past high school like the college prep courses. One of the girls responds to why she was not prepared for college, “The counselor told me to take all the non-required classes. Now I’m way behind in English and math, so that is why I can’t go to a state school.”(Bettie, 77) How can you expect to get into college and the people who are supposed to be helping you are not doing their job? Bettie shows that some minority students need assistance in preparing for college. Similar to, In the Basement of the Ivory Tower, the woman in her 40s was not capable of comprehending the processes of modern society. She was enrolled in a college course but was not able to keep up with the requirements of the class, “She simply was not qualified for college…For I, … am the one who ultimately delivers the news to those unfit for college: they lack the most-basic skills and have no sense of the volume of work required; they are in some cases barely literate;…They are not ready for high school, some of them, much less for college.” (Professor X, 3-4) The professor tries to help her with her paper but she is incapable of understanding the concepts. Since she is an older student, she may not be up-to-date and current on the ways of modern society or she may have forgotten how to write a paper correctly. The author suggests that if you are going to go to college, you need to able to keep up with the classes or take classes as prerequisites to refresh your memory. In the article, Social Class and the Hidden Curriculum of Work, the author implies that based on what social class you are associated with, the education you receive and how you receive it plays a role in how prepared you are for college or post-secondary education. The author discusses the differences in the education by social class, “The foregoing analysis of differences in schoolwork in contrasting social class contexts suggests the following conclusion: the “hidden curriculum” of school work is tacit preparation for relating to the process of production in a particular way.”(Anyon, 10) Jean Anyon argues that the way the students are taught influences how well they are prepared for future college plans or careers. The students of the middle class are taught by the book, they engage in work by doing things step-by-step. They are not required to express a lot of creativity. With this teaching style in mind, they are being prepared for schools and/or  jobs that deal with problem solving which requires  a basic background in the core subjects. In a general sense, they all suggest that some type of education is needed before you enter college.   

The authors of these three texts all illustrate how you must be prepared for college in order to succeed and they also showed if you don’t have the background knowledge, then you are going to struggle. The woman who was in her 40s in, In the Basement of the Ivory Tower was struggling even when she didn’t think she was. She had a lack of preparation which caused her to be behind in her studies just like the girls in Working Class Chicas who were not prepared for school or careers beyond high school.

Responding---Really Responding---to Other Students' Writing Reading Response

The article was about how to respond to  other students' writing effectively. Richard Straub tells readers not to imitate the teacher and "talk" to the writer as you are their peer. Throughout the article, he just give tips on what to do and what not to do when responding to someone else's writing. He says you should be clear when you write your comments and ask a lot of questions. He suggests that you, "point to problems and areas for improvement but do it in a constructive way." He tells the reader not to just blatantly destroy the writing, but be clear and assertive in what you think the writer should improve on. He encourages the reader to make marginal notes as well as comments at the end of the paper. These comments emphasize key points of the response and allow the writer to see where they need improvement. He talks about  praising and criticizing simultaneously, saying that you should praise as much as you can but always expect more form the writer. Don't judge the writer work without considering who the writer is as a person. He uses a good example when he talks about the girl who is  confident and arrogant. He says to challenge her to think more about her writing and present different perspectives for her to think about.

There was not really a point to argue because it was more of an informative piece but Richard does a good job of telling why you as the reader should do and shouldn't certain things when responding to other people's writing. He says it can give them a sense of confidence and some encouragement. He assumes that most people when responding are supposed to sound like the teacher when critiquing someone's writing when in fact, they are not supposed to.

I agree with the author when he says to "read the paper with an eye to the circumstances that it was written in and the situation it is looking to create." I agree with this because sometimes as readers and critiques we are biased as to what we are supposed to be looking for when we are responding someone else's paper.So if we begin with what our focus is, we will give more effective feedback and help the writer improve.

My golden line is " Instead of telling the reader what to do, suggest what she might do." (Straub, 140)
I chose this line because, I feel, in order to give good feedback you must be specific in what the problem is. In being specific, you must show the writer ways in which they can improve and not just simply tell them what is wrong.

On the Uses of a Liberal Education Reading Response

The article was about a man, Mr.Shores, who is conducting an demonstration project about the humanities and he is writing a book about it. He interviews several students to see who would be the most influential in the project. He mainly interviews people who are poor or of the lower class in  between the ages of 18-35. He tells the ones who made the cut the expectations and the basis of the course they will be taking and he tells the class the benefits they will reap if they do well in the course. Mr. Shores along with other teachers push these students to their limits and encourage them to express their opinions about the elites, society and the humanities and how they affect their [social] class. He also explains to them that they must understand politics, not in the general sense such as voting but in the way that Thucydides uses it.

I think that the author argued his/her point well because he stated a problem, showed ways of how he will go about solving or addressing this problem, then he takes action that is effective and presents the results to show that his method of problem solving has worked. He makes makes these assumptions that people of the lower class or of poor status don't understand the power of politics. I believe they understand politics but they don't know how they play a part in their lives or how it affects the way that they live their lives. He also assumes that the fact that they don't understand politics is what keeps them poor. I don't understand why the understanding of the humanities or politics in this context helps you be better off in society and brings you to more wellness and money.

I agree with the author when he says that, "It is generally accepted in America that the liberal arts and the humanities in particular belong to the elites." (Shorris, 5) When you actually take a look at society, the people who are lawyers, philosophers, politicians, and social workers and those who are in the liberal arts field, are all rich people or people who are higher up on the social class ladder. Those careers require a lot of critical thinking and research and the people of the lower classes may not have the capabilities of comprehending this level of education.

The golden line I chose was, "May you never be more active than when you are doing nothing." I chose this line because it makes me think. The meaning is not clear so I have to break down the sentence to try to figure out the meaning. I don't understand the quote so I'm not sure how it applies to this story in context but I will try to figure it out.

College-Going Atmosphere

Today in class, we discussed our previous assigned readings and we tied them together with our own opinions and experiences. We started talking about the article, In the Basement of the Ivory Tower, which was about an older woman attending college and not being able to succeed based on her level of education. After reading this, I was asked the question, "Should everyone go to college?" I answered "No." I said  that not everyone should go to college because everybody is not made for college. When I said that, I meant that not everybody is prepared for college and may not want to attend college. Society is constantly changing and  the demands for higher education is increasing and so is the cost of college and post-secondary education. Some people are not capable of the amount of work and the critical thinking that college courses require. They may not have been prepared in high school for college or students didn't put as much effort into college prep classes because they already chose a different path after high school. Some students already know that they will not attend college so they put less emphasis on core classes and put more effort into classes that they are interested in. Some schools offer vocational or trade classes and  students may want to pursue careers in those fields instead of taking the college route. However, students who want to go to college may not be able to attend because they cannot afford the costs of college. As an alternative, students learn trades and go into business for themselves without having a college education, or they just work at regular jobs to help pay for college.

In the other discussions about college in general and all the other components of college (admissions, financial aid, job placement), we talked about how society plays a role in all of this. In my opinion, society puts so much emphasis on education to get into the workforce, but makes it very difficult to attain these goals. Most people are told that if you go to college, you will get a good job because nowadays you cannot get a good-paying job with just a high school diploma. However, society and its demands are constantly changing so even if you have a [Bachelor's] degree, you won't be able to get a job because they require a higher degree like a Master's or a PhD. I feel like they shouldn't make it  so easy to get a good job but they shouldn't make the standards and the requirements so difficult that they seem almost impossible to achieve at the same time. But before you even get to college, there is always the thought of how you are going to pay for it. We were discussing other forms of financial aid and we talked about whether our parents should pay for our education. On the topic of financial aid, I do think there needs to be a reform for the FAFSA because those people who really need financial aid are not able to receive the funds they need while others who are able to afford college are receiving more assistance from the government. Then again, there are other ways to pay for school likes scholarships and grants and loans. Most people do not want to have loans or be in debt but are too lazy to find and apply for scholarships. Scholarships are split into two categories: need-based and merit-based. Those who are classified as need-based often get mad at those who are merit-based because they get these scholarships and have not deserved them. But I think that just because you know someone on a different level or you know the behind-the-scenes action that goes on, doesn't mean that you should get  the scholarship over them. It all depends on how the scholarship committee sees this candidate and what they offer or what makes them better than the other applicants. Some people think that applications for scholarships should be similar or should be structured like college applications. I am not so sure about this idea but it could eliminate the false information that people use and the pity stories that people like to tell just to get money.

Women Without Class Reading Response

I was assigned to read the section High School Tracks and it discusses the life and stories of Mexican-American girls who were not able to obtain the status of working-class or a simple jobs due to educational paths they have taken during high school. The narrator visits this high school and interviews these girls about whether they are prepared for life after high school or not. Some girls said that they were pushed into a vocational track based on the notion that they were not ready for college prep classes. Others felt that they wanted to go the vocational route. But the majority of them just took any class they needed to get good grades and to graduate from high school. After talking about the reality of their near future, las chicas start to realize that just a high school education is not going to be sufficient enough for being financially stable in the economy, especially because they are girls.

I think the author argued their point well because they showed different viewpoints and different perspectives of the girls and showed both side of the issue. He talked to girls who wanted to take the vocational track and made them think about how this would affect them and what jobs would be an option for them. He says, "Sometimes girls dealt with their anxiety about their future with a certain denial of the facts, a refusal to believe that things would not work out for them, a tone of self-determination."(78-79) They think that the courses they are taking will prepare them for a working-class future and instead they realized that,"there is no middle-income, non-college-educated, working class location for her to occupy, which leaves her in a precarious situation."(79) The teachers in the school were discriminating against the Mexican-American females and the minorities; placing them in classes that they thought they were able to handle instead of courses they needed to be successful. This includes college prep courses. They also assume that just because you are enrolled in vocational or trade courses, you are considered a failure. In fact, the only difference is that college prep classes teach students "critical thinking, problem solving, drawing conclusions, evaluating or synthesizing knowledge" while vocational classes require students to learn simple memory tasks or comprehension". (79)

I agree with the fact that most people do consider those who follow the vocational track as failures or people who aren't capable or comprehending the other education.It is mostly minorities who follow these paths or those who are not really able to grasp the "other" education. I have experienced this in my high school where the technical academy students were not really recognized as much as the "regular" students were. They always said that what we did was not really essential to the college platform. We are actually learning a skill that no one can take from us. Even if we are not working for anyone, we can go into business for ourselves. What I don't agree with is the fact that success equates with college. Some of the most successful people didn't receive a college education and they are doing well financially. Society puts so much emphasis on going to college and getting good jobs but, "no one speaks on the fact of changing labor and declining wages that await this generation of students, a problem that neither schools, nor girls can solve." (82)

The golden line I chose was , "...it doesn't feel much different from high school; hence the expression that " junior college is high school with ashtrays"."(83) I chose this line because I believe that this statement is true. You are close to your home area so you may not be ready for independence. You are around the same people you went to high school with so it really is like high school. You are revisiting subjects that you learned in high school because most people go to JC to get general education credits out of the way then transfer to another school. There is really no difference in JC and high school, except that they can smoke (high school with ashtrays) and that you are older.

Social Class and the Hidden Curriculum of Work Response

In the assigned sections I was to read, the author talks about how students of different social class and economic backgrounds are being prepped to be successful in the workforce. The students are encouraged to express themselves especially in the "affluent professional school" because these types of schools focus on the creativeness and expressiveness of their students. The author visits these school and she observes how the teachers kind of lets the students take control of how they learn. If things get out of hand, the instructors either step in or they negotiate with the students.

I think that the author argued her point well because she stated examples to prove her argument. She states,"In the affluent professional school, work is creative activity carried out independently. The students are continually asked to express and apply ideas and concepts. Work involves individual thought and expressiveness, expansion and illustration of ideas, and choice of appropriate method and material." (Anyon, 6) She got a sample to test her theory and observed these five schools. The fact that these children can self-educate is amazing. She talks about how they are reading, writing, and comprehending above grade level. These fifth graders are writing essays and stories, making films and play-writing  Regardless of their background, these students are capable of  learning and applying these concepts. They also have the ability to express themselves creatively without being criticized and they are pushed to think critically. 

I agree with the author and the idea of preparing students early in age, but I am not sure if it will block their way of thinking when they get older and when they enroll into a school that is not like the ones they were exposed to when they were younger. They are allowed to express themselves and are allowed to almost teach themselves and kinda take direction over the way the learn. I don't know if this will cause a problem in the workforce or whenever these children are asked to take directions from some other form of authority who may try to undermine their creative process.

The golden line that stood out to me is when Jean Anyon says, "It doesn't matter whether it [what they find] is right or wrong. I bring them together and there's value in discussing their ideas." I chose this line because it shows how the children interact with each other and how they discuss their findings and interpret them. I like this because the children are thinking critically and since they are encouraged to be creative, they believe in themselves and in their work so no one else's opinion matters. They don't care if they're right or wrong but as  long as they know the value of their own work.

"Writing History Response" Reflection

What was the most helpful piece of advice you received? Explain.

The most helpful piece of advice I received was when Megan told me to elaborate more on my writing and to avoid using second person when writing. I think this is good advice because when I was coming up in school, I was told to set up my writing; write an introduction so that your reader knows what you are about to discuss in your writing. I was so used to "setting up" my writing that I sometimes miss the point of the assignment, beat around the bush, and almost barely answer the question asked. So in this assignment, I gave the reader a background story and did not really get in to depth about how the background story connects to how I developed as a writer and how these experiences made me the writer I am today. Also, since I have formed a habit of introducing my topic in my writing, I feel so connected to my reader that I start to almost have a conversation with them in my work. I always assume to write for an audience as if i am speaking my paper to someone whether it is my professor, my colleagues, or just someone who is reading my paper.

What was the least helpful piece of advice you received? Explain.
I  think that the advice that Megan gave me was all helpful, but one comment she made was a little confusing. She told me to keep in mind that I was writing to an academic audience even though it was a personal piece. I didn't understand how approach that because even though it was a narrative, I was still supposed to be able to write in such a way that if a professor read it, it would be appropriate.

What questions do you have about Megan’s comments?
Other than the confusion I was having in the paragraph above, I do not have any questions about Megan's comments. I like that constructive criticism because it lets me know what I need to work on and how I can better my writing.

What are your plans for revision? Be specific. 

I plan to first off, start by answering the question, if there is one, being clear and concise and straight to the point. Then I will change my tone in my writing so that I write for an audience and not someone I am having a conversation with. I will also write HOW these experiences I'm writing about have made me the writer I am now. I will also find more fluent ways to transition from idea to idea and from one paragraph to the next. I will try to discuss my writing process and my influences and things that help me write.